Date: 2007-07-08 02:10 Subject: *screams* Security: Public

I hate it when I'm bored, makes me think about stuff that has been screwing around in my head from time to time... and i'm the kind of person who has given up hope on positivity, damn this is giving me a headache...

Crap results out on monday...

Date: 2006-11-13 22:08 Subject: 3 down 1 to go Security: Public Music: "Snow Drop" - L'Arc~en~Ciel

Tomorrow's my last exam for the year and yes, enough studying for the year.

From what they (as in people in general) say, you learn from your mistakes. Perhaps they have forgotten about one important factor: motivation. Basically, you need motivation to learn from your mistakes.

Date: 2006-11-01 21:46 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: annoyed Music: "Heart of Glass" - Blondie

Why is it that the people who usually takes the easy way out of things are the ones who gets the benefits while the ones who worked their butts off get something less favourable in return?

And yes I am extremely pissed off because I have received no mark at all for an assignment that I have handed in on time (and 100% my own work) just because I did not show up for a tutorial that is not compulsory. Why is it that someone like me, who squeezed the juice off my brain to complete that assignment got no mark at all whereas others who had the easy way out by copying others' work and got full (if not close) marks. Injustice I'm telling you. I would be glad to see these people fucking up their exams, and yes I am being evil.

And FYI, I've e-mail my tutor/ unit co-ordinator and even went to uni myself (and none of them were there) to get the problem settled but all efforts have failed me.

Gonna aim for 100% in my exam now for a final HD grade.

Date: 2006-09-24 12:41 Subject: More angsty thoughts Security: Public Mood: cynical Music: "Dance, dance" - Fall Out Boy

Sometimes I wonder, what defines a person in being "normal"?

Does normality refers to generally being healthy, happy with life overall, getting along well with others, and all those kinds of positive traits....

Or does it meant by having a boyfriend/girlfriend, driving a car, drinking, clubbing, hanging around + doesn't stay at home much... Well basically the more materialistic and rebellious aspects in a persons life.

I've already known from the start that the first definition of being "normal" has always been the correct answer but sometimes I couldn't help feeling isolated from my peers.

"You're 18 now, why haven't you been clubbing?"
"Dee you study too much, take a break."
"Such and such person has a boyfriend now."

They're all making it sound like such factors are essenstial to a person's youth, without it you will be left out.

Fucking peer pressure.

Date: 2006-09-23 11:45 Subject: Kill me I'm emo.... sif Security: Public Mood: kill me i'm emo... blehhh Music: "Push It" - Static X

I never knew how a sleep can be a good way to throw away all your frustrations for the day and allow for you to start a fresh, brand new day.

Although this insignificant issue has been bottled up in my head for quite some time (might have been years), I felt terrible for lashing it out at my friend on Thursday. Strangely enough everyone was rather moody that day as well, however I won't go in detail about that. Anyway, I just asked them, "Do you think I'm the kind of person who studies everyday?". The answer, "Yes". And that got me quite agitated.

Perhaps you might be wondering, What's wrong with studying heaps anyway? As you can see, my grades are in a slump (I haven't told my parents as they are thinking that i"m acing everything) and are relatively poor to others. And yet the fact that I was perceived as a studious person along with actual poor grades is insulting. Makes me feel that I'm overrated. Sometimes when I look around, it's as if people describe me as ,"Oh yeah that's dee, she studies heaps and doesn't go out at all.". And I strongly believe this is how people viewed me in high school, that's why I shamelessly admit now that nobody actually bothered to ask me to hang out and do "normal" stuff. Obviously such issue has improved for me, but the thought still exists.

And who would actually care if I study a lot? Well, I guess it would be resolved if I don't care whether other people care or not, if that makes sense. And basically I'm not blaming anyone at all, it's all just personal issues that I need to deal with myself.

After all, I'm a walking contradiction. My beliefs state that I should not be doing something just because everyone else is, however the demons of peer pressure can be too powerful at times. Things like clubbing, having a boyfriend and such can be rather sensitive to me at times despite me knowing that such issues do not define normality.

Oh well I still need to work on my emotional well being...

Date: 2006-09-12 12:23 Subject: Study break - Day 2 Security: Public Mood: full Music: "Miss Murder"- AFI (no this is not the only AFI song i know)

Or should it be day 4 of the study break by including the weekend? Oh well, either way is fine.

I've actually made some progress so far by flipping through my management accounting notes and text, though I haven't actually tried to memorize the stuff in them yet. Other tasks in my "to-do list" also include downloading the ilecture for the last intro to law lecture that I missed, catching up with stats... And I'm going to leave macro aside for the moment since we're already done with the mid-sem.

Despite my tight study plans for the break, it is extremely tempting for me to walk around and shop this week. My bosses also presumed that I'm not available to work from monday to thursday since I didn't tell them about my study break, that means no work AND uni from monday to thursday, how awesome is that! So I went to the city and harbour town to shop for ball accessories (Got myself a necklace with a pair of matching earrings and red hairdye- I can't seem to get over red hair for some reason).

to be continued...

Date: 2006-09-09 12:33 Subject: one week break Security: Public Mood: blank Music: "Inquisition Symphony" - Sepultura

Just like all the other breaks that I've gone through, I'm not going to get anything done throughout the week.

Date: 2006-09-06 21:20 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I'm meant to be doing some tute work and study for mid-sems so that I could pass my units and get a proper university degree, unlike the one shown below:

Date: 2006-09-03 13:28 Subject: need for motivation Security: Public Mood: lazy Music: "When the sun goes down" - Arctic Monkeys

I pasted a sign in front of my study desk a couple of months ago saying, "Aim for law school and be a somebody - think this through before slacking off again!". Apparently that didn't work very well did it?

I feel sick lately, not as in a flu or a cough... But somehow I feel both my physical and mental state are deteriorating. I did not attempt to starve myself or anything and in fact I eat whenever I get hungry, but sometimes I just vomitted the things that I put in my mouth. I have cravings for coffee everyday (about 2-3 cups per day which is not good). All this probably has severely affecting my concentration. I couldn't even sit still with my worksheets in front of me. So how am I suppose to aim high with such conditions?

My grades are starting to drop(from what I got for my tests and assignments), I just need ONE satisfying mark which hopefully would be enough to get me back on track.

And did I mention that I failed my second driving assessment 2 weeks ago? I couldn't see the day when I'll be getting my drivers license, it's not going to happen.

I need to lower my expectations on life, but I just couldn't do it.

Date: 2006-09-01 15:02 Subject: Downfall of "supernerd" Security: Public Mood: stressed Music: none...

So my "supernerd" plan from the start of semester 2 backfired, and so did my plans of heading to Law School.

At times I feel like blaming the ones around me for their influence of not taking things seriously and causing me to procrastinate, even though this contradicts my belief of "everyone is responsible for their own lives".

And you're possibly wondering, why law school?? Being the ambitious person that I am, I want to prove that I am better than most people (particularly within my family, apart from distant relatives, no one has achieved a law degree thus far), of course this ambition is combined with a degree of interest. But at times I tend to doubt myself since I am vulnerable to the demons of temptation (Damn peer pressure).

Anyway, the ball is coming soon in 2 weeks and I can't wait til it's over and done with, then there could be a possibility that I'll get back on track with my "supernerd" mode.

Date: 2006-08-25 13:47 Subject: CRACK Security: Public Mood: cranky Music: "Heart Shaped Box" - Nirvana

Ever had those feelings that you were about to crack and couldn't do much about it?

and are there any ways to deal with people who constantly annoy you but you just couldn't push them away?

Sometimes I just hate the idea of good things coming unexpectingly. People do things to achieve what they plan and expect, and if such thing does not happen, it just hits you hard out of disappointment.

Nonetheless, I'm still happier than last year. Lol.

Date: 2006-08-14 16:42 Subject: Things might just work out Security: Public Mood: restless

I might probably survive Macro tomorrow...

Date: 2006-08-13 01:27 Subject: Need a new job Security: Public Mood: stressed Music: "Rio Grande Blood" - Ministry

AND THE JOB SEARCH BEGINS...

Date: 2006-08-10 23:18 Subject: angst, angst & more angst Security: Public Mood: sleepy Music: "Wish"- Nine Inch Nails

WHY DID I CHOOSE TO DO MACRO!?? I told myself before that the last economics unit I'll be doing would be Microeconomics last semester... yes I came to believe that I'm a bad decision maker and I regret lots of things that I've done in the past.

However, I thought of what my uncle said to me before, "Don't regret anything that you've ever done. You chose to do something because you believe that the decision you're making is what's best for you."

I don't know... Life can be bitchy sometimes, but at least for now it's not as bitchy as it was before.

Date: 2006-08-08 18:27 Subject: $15 for being a guinea pig Security: Public Mood: sore Music: "Wonderboy" - Tenacious D

I volunteered to be part of a Psychology experiment today and I was paid $15.

This was what happened:

- First I had to fill in a questionnaire (It was two sections actually, one was mainly concerned with my feelings/ emotions for today and the other was about my general emotions)

- Next I went into a small computer room, where the practical experiment was conducted. What I had to do was to pay attention to the screen where it displays an arrow either pointing to the left or right (In numerous trials of course). Immediately after the arrrow being displayed, a higher-pitched or low-pitched sound was played at random in each trial, with the screen showing two rows of words. The words may consist of real words or just a bunch of scrambled-up alphabets. Whenever a high-pitched sound is played, I only had to observe the word on the upper row and if that particular row displays a real word rather than random alphabets, I was required to hit "Q" (for yes) on the keyboard, otherwise hit "A" (for no). Likewise when a low-pitched sound is played, just take note of the word in the bottom row rather than the upper row and hit either "Q" or "A" depending on what is shown on the screen.

The computerized experiment went on for almost an hour and yes, it was very repetitive. I nearly fell asleep back there (Perhaps I should tell the person in charge of this research that some of my inaccuracies were due to that).

And of course, I was paid $15 at the end, which I'll be using for my visit to the gym tomorrow.

Date: 2006-08-05 16:45 Subject: footy frenzy at work Security: Public Mood: relaxed Music: "Disintegration" - The Cure

Nah I was exaggerating on the subject of this entry... Well today at work, I served Fremantle Dockers player Michael Johnson and he ordered a ham sub. I didn't know who he is since I don't really follow footy until Bree who was working with me at that time came up to him and asked for an autograph. It's rather a pity I reckon... Oh well, I'm still waiting for an encounter (even if it's a minor one) with Robert Smith (The Cure).

Date: 2006-08-04 13:51 Subject: Tips while visiting a Subway Restaurant Security: Public Mood: mischievous Music: "The Fallen"- Franz Ferdinand

Few things that you should pay attention to in order to not piss me off (and possibly other Subway employees as well).

1. Be nice and polite... It's as simple as that, elderly people (at least most of them that I've served) are usually better at this, that's why they make better customers.

2 Speak up.

3. Never say the word "Whatever" in a "Don't give a fuck" tone, I'm cool if you say that in jokingly or in a friendly manner. (I never thought this would be an issue but some fat bitch gave me this kind of attitude and I just wanted to smack her in the face)

4. Note to parents about Kids Pack orders:
I usually get Kids Pack orders that usually consist of just plain ham & cheese in a deli roll, alongside a roll-up (or cookie), a juice box & a toy (crappy ones), and it all cost $5.95... to me it's a rip-off. I might as well get something from Maccas or Hungry Jacks for a more satisfying meal.
But if you're going for a healthier snack (if you believe that's what Subway has to offer *rolls eyes*), pile up the deli roll with salads, otherwise, go to your local supermarket and fetch some ham, bread and cheese and make a nice, simple ham sandwich...That way,perhaps your kids may also learn how to make their own sandwich.

5. Always specify the type of bread you want BEFORE asking for anything else like cheese, salads etc... Not that it's a big issue but it saves my breath for saying, "What bread would you like?".

I'm craving for hungry jacks now...

Date: 2006-08-04 13:46 Subject: Idea for a new TV show Security: Public Mood: crazy Music: "1979" - Smashing Pumpkins Tags: lame humour

Why people perceive accountants as boring individuals?


Because there's no TV show dedicated to the profession of accountants (Well if there really is one it definitely needs more exposure to the public, lol). C'mon, there are shows about doctors, cops, lawyers, teachers, musicians, entertainers and even housewives, if that counts as a job, but what about accountants? That's why many are not given the insight of the job of accountants, hence allowing for this misconception.



Maybe in the future I'll be a creator of a popular TV show featuring a group of accountants.

Date: 2006-08-04 13:37 Subject: The truth Security: Public Location: sitting on my ass Mood: calm Music: "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" - Smashing Pumpkins Tags: lame humour

The stereotype of asians being nerds has gotten old,

These are what I think has more to do with the asian stereotype:

1. Dyed hair colour is most likely blonde/light-brown-ish, whether you're male or female. (If you have a different hair colour, particularly the unique colours: green, blue, purple, good on ya)
As for hairstyle... males... you know, the spiky/styled/fringed cut and you girls out there, long dead straight hair (with or without fringe), well eventually asians will all go for the emo look.


2. Your favourite singers/band would probably be Jay Chou, S.H.E., Jolin, JJ Lin (whatever)...

3. If you're not an anime fan... You would probably still watch stuff like Initial D.

4. You have the tendency to look Japanese or Korean (Yes I've seen too many and I was one of them, or
probably still is =/ *heads for a makeover*)

5. If you're from Malaysia or Singapore (particularly Malaysia), you may think that how great things would be if you were from countries such as Korea/ Japan/ Taiwan/ Hong Kong (I prefer China).

6. You like karaoke and bubbletea.

7. *peace sign*

8. You tend to like traditional chinese characters better than the simplified ones because: 1/ It looks nicer (This I agree) 2/ It's more "asian"... Well I'm glad I learned simplified, made my chinese learning progress much easier.

9. Your MSN display name consists of asian characters, could either be your name in that particular language or some sappy/ lovey dovey phrase.

10. Overdressing at times.

11. Uses Friendster over sites such as mySpace.

12. I'm not an asian trying to be white.